Right said Fred

Whenever I am contemplating doing something mechanical, snatches of Right Said Fred get stuck in my mind, particularly the lines 'And Charlie had a think and he said 'Look, Fred, / I've got a sort of feelin'/ If we remove the ceilin' ...' I think of the song as a ditty, but it is probably too long for that. I like the absurd story that it tells and I relate to the incompetence of the characters.

If I was feeling witty
I would write a little ditty
About things that go awry
When I or my spouse try
To fix things around our house
To make it bright

It isn't all that funny
It always costs us money
Things seem simple at the outset
We soon find ourselves in more debt
When an expert is called in
To make it right